The year of writing
Today I am looking at my progress in writing. Here is a piece of writing that I'm not very amazed with.
One day there once lived a dog in a small house on a small street with blowing howling trees the sway in the wind. This day Clicky became famous. She was living with her owners Parker and Diana. It was Tuesday morning and Clicky was really excited *yelp yelp* she went, Parker and Diana took her to the park where they would do tricks and try to win. They finally arrived moaned Parker *yelp yelp* said Clicky.
They were practicing in the tunnel “JUMP said Diana” *Clicky Jumped so high she fell and broke her left leg. *yelp yelp awwww* Parker runs to clicky are you ok Parker takes Clicky to the vet down near the shops.
They find out the horrible news, Clicky has broken her leg and fractured her knee said the vet. Unfortunately she can't participate in the show. *yelp yelp Clicky cries* It’s ok Clicky you are going to do the show not using that left le of yours let’s go practice said Parker. She drove her back to the dog park so she could practice and she did amazing.
It was now her time to perform off you go Clicky you will do well. *JUMP Clicky* well done Clicky, *CLICKY ROLL OVER* Awesome here is a treat. And the last act Clicky do your dance. Clicky does her dance and everyone went wild, “that dog can really dance” And that day on Clicky became famous… Story continues
One year later
One day Clicky got sick and had to be put down, Parker did not like the fact of that so he made the spare room into a lab for animals so if they were sick he could cure them and make them living creatures again.
So with this writing I used descriptive words But I could have used better words to help in my
Now here is a good piece of writing that I am proud of:
Uncle in the derby
It was a Saturday Morning I had to get up and get ready for rugby.
We were at home getting ready to go to woodford glen. It was only 2:30 so we went to uncle Craig’s to spray paint our names on the car.
We arrived at woodford glen we sat down and played tag while we waited for it to start. YAY it started, we sat down and watch the practice then the grand parade. While the grand parade was going on they chucked lollies we tried to get them all but no we didn’t.
The cars had come out to line up they were really loud and flicked lots of clay, More races had come while it got darker and darker. It was nearly finished but before it could finish we had to see the derby in fact there was two, the first derby was teamed, the cars came out it was 5 canterbury v.s 4 otago then it was the ramp derby Uncle Craig was still in the race 3 of his team cars had spun out so it was only him and his team mate left he had spun out just at the race was up.
We had so much fun watching him and he sure did do well.
In this one I think that have made it so that sounds better and has good punctuation in places.
In this one I think that have made it so that sounds better and has good punctuation in places.
Please have a read and comment things that you think I need to work on it will a great help.
